Oooooooooops...were you looking for an article that will talk about a couple who has a perfect marriage? Or ways on how to have a perfect marriage? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you but there is no such thing as a perfect marriage.
But wait...I've got some GOOD NEWS!!! I know of a PERFECT GOD who can make your marriage beautiful.
Again...there is no perfect marriage. Did that relieve you of other people's expectations of your marriage? I hope so.
Moving on.....
Each one of us has differences. Cultural differences, upbringing differences, environmental differences, personality differences, gender differences...what else? Every difference you can think of that will make you unique from others. The only similarity we all have is that we have the same GOD.
Definition:
God - the supernatural being conceived as the perfect and omnipotent and omniscient originator and ruler of the universe
Whether you believe it or not, GOD is the Creator of the Universe. It's the truth.
Moving on.....
Let's go back to differences. These differences make us unique that most of the time cause complications in a marriage.
If you are someone who chose to love an opposite sex, you better read this. If you are someone who chose to commit to an opposite sex, you better continue reading.
Cody and I came to the conclusion last year to change and grow before our marriage because we desire to protect our marriage. We don't want to make mistakes that other couples do and that's divorce. Whatever habit/attitude you practice outside marriage (probably when you're still single, in a relationship or engaged), you could easily adapt it in the marriage.
Definition:
adapt - conform oneself to new or different conditions
I've heard and read a lot of couples say that marriage is not easy as you think it is. I certainly believe that. That's why I'm starting to read more marriage books and articles now that encourage to run the race unconditionally.
Cody and I have many differences. I must admit it is never easy especially with the distance (8000 miles). There are times that I just want to hug him and just cry over his shoulder because of the differences. In the past, I'd usually just turn my back on any complication and pretend that nothing happened. It was tolerated. Do you think it helped? Never. I jumped from one relationship to another. Trying to find the perfect mate and the perfect relationship. Thinking there is someone better out there.
Things changed. My views changed. I had a total makeover.
Cody came to my life. He helped me see realities in life. Beautiful and wise convictions he shared with me. Cody helped me see that there is no one better out there. Not because he is perfect but because no one is. So the solution we have is to surrender our lives to GOD and work on everything in this relationship.
We had a complication yesterday - on our anniversary. Differences. Women are very emotional while men are rational. I was more emotional before. It was unhealthy. I get irritable, I let the enemy control my emotions through my thoughts, I get vulnerable. Be careful, ladies. The enemy can and will try to use your thoughts until he could conquer your emotions. Try to check yourself if you have any ingrained habits or dysfunctional behavior. Deal with it. Ask GOD's help and make your mate your accountability partner who would encourage you. Do not ignore or tolerate it.
It was so difficult. I've said things that have hurt Cody and made me cry so much. He went to sleep without us resolving the conflict because of me. I wanted to give up. I prayed so hard. I took a 4-hour nap. When I woke up, I pondered. I was calm and wiser with my decisions - IT IS ALL GOD! I slept all throughout the night. I woke up and told myself, "I am so prideful." I love him and I couldn't even show it. I know deep inside me that I'd never desire any man but him. He is the man I desire. So I decided to humble myself to him and be honest about what happened to me. We talked through Skype. He knows that I'm emotional. He also knows that it lessened already - GLORY TO GOD! I've read this last night from "Glimpses of an Invisible GOD" - manuscript written by Vicki Kuyper and Stephen Parolini and compiled by Angie Kiesling...
The truth is, everyone's going to die trying. Trying to change ingrained habits or dysfunctional behavior is an ongoing process, even when you're leaning on GOD's strength for help. Don't beat yourself up when you fail. GOD extends grace and forgiveness, not a paddle and a dunce cap.
Quote: Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of GOD is glue.
I admitted to myself that being too emotional and letting it take over me is a dysfunctional behavior I have. The first step to healing is admitting there is a problem. Being too emotional can lead to regretful decisions or painful remarks. I told Cody that I made a huge mistake and asked forgiveness. I admitted to him that I need his help. Also, we prayed before we talked. I led the prayer. He heard things that I desire to happen and things that came from my heart. I asked forgiveness from GOD and from Cody. I assured Cody that next time, I'd tell him when I'm emotional and I'd ask for his help and encourage me. I need him to be my accountability partner. He lovingly agreed. I suggested that next time, we could quickly point out anything that affects/upsets us then I'd call him right away so we could talk about it. It's cheaper for me to call. hehehe! It takes courage and honesty to do this, I know. I desire a beautiful marriage so I am willing to open myself up. We also decided to be very calm about spiritual things. We concluded to share our views, beliefs, opinions and convictions and if they're different, we could somehow compromise. If we couldn't, we could just respect each other, be calm about it and understand our differences. We assured to be on each other's team all the time. I also suggested to read a certain verse or chapter in the Bible daily as our devotions and share views/convictions. We could also share some testimonies about it or experiences. Freedom of speech. hehehe!
Humility, honesty, respect, understanding and love are some of the keys to a beautiful marriage.
You don't have to turn around and give up. You can stand up to the enemy and humble yourself to your partner. Be open and resolve complications. You don't have to undergo divorce. Open a mature conversation and be willing to communicate gently, calmly and lovingly. Don't run away. If you have to run, run to GOD.
Love will bind you together. GOD will seal it.
GOD is LOVE
1 John 4:16
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails...
These verses follow me everywhere. Sometimes, I try to set them aside when there are complications but I always think of them. Always. Thank GOD!
And you thought I was perfect, huh? hahaha! No I'm not. But GOD's grace is sufficient.
I thank and praise GOD for a beautiful relationship and most of all, a beautiful man named Cody Lee Howe! I owe everything to GOD for creating and changing Cody. I cannot thank GOD enough for giving me my beautiful blessing.
FATHER, THANK YOU FOR YOURSELF AND FOR YOUR PRINCE, OUR EVER-LOVING KING!!!
ALL THE GLORY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP BELONGS TO GOD ALONE!!!
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!!!
P.U.S.H.
When you feel GOD's love, OVERFLOW!
But wait...I've got some GOOD NEWS!!! I know of a PERFECT GOD who can make your marriage beautiful.
Again...there is no perfect marriage. Did that relieve you of other people's expectations of your marriage? I hope so.
Moving on.....
Each one of us has differences. Cultural differences, upbringing differences, environmental differences, personality differences, gender differences...what else? Every difference you can think of that will make you unique from others. The only similarity we all have is that we have the same GOD.
Definition:
God - the supernatural being conceived as the perfect and omnipotent and omniscient originator and ruler of the universe
Whether you believe it or not, GOD is the Creator of the Universe. It's the truth.
Moving on.....
Let's go back to differences. These differences make us unique that most of the time cause complications in a marriage.
If you are someone who chose to love an opposite sex, you better read this. If you are someone who chose to commit to an opposite sex, you better continue reading.
Cody and I came to the conclusion last year to change and grow before our marriage because we desire to protect our marriage. We don't want to make mistakes that other couples do and that's divorce. Whatever habit/attitude you practice outside marriage (probably when you're still single, in a relationship or engaged), you could easily adapt it in the marriage.
Definition:
adapt - conform oneself to new or different conditions
I've heard and read a lot of couples say that marriage is not easy as you think it is. I certainly believe that. That's why I'm starting to read more marriage books and articles now that encourage to run the race unconditionally.
Cody and I have many differences. I must admit it is never easy especially with the distance (8000 miles). There are times that I just want to hug him and just cry over his shoulder because of the differences. In the past, I'd usually just turn my back on any complication and pretend that nothing happened. It was tolerated. Do you think it helped? Never. I jumped from one relationship to another. Trying to find the perfect mate and the perfect relationship. Thinking there is someone better out there.
Things changed. My views changed. I had a total makeover.
Cody came to my life. He helped me see realities in life. Beautiful and wise convictions he shared with me. Cody helped me see that there is no one better out there. Not because he is perfect but because no one is. So the solution we have is to surrender our lives to GOD and work on everything in this relationship.
We had a complication yesterday - on our anniversary. Differences. Women are very emotional while men are rational. I was more emotional before. It was unhealthy. I get irritable, I let the enemy control my emotions through my thoughts, I get vulnerable. Be careful, ladies. The enemy can and will try to use your thoughts until he could conquer your emotions. Try to check yourself if you have any ingrained habits or dysfunctional behavior. Deal with it. Ask GOD's help and make your mate your accountability partner who would encourage you. Do not ignore or tolerate it.
It was so difficult. I've said things that have hurt Cody and made me cry so much. He went to sleep without us resolving the conflict because of me. I wanted to give up. I prayed so hard. I took a 4-hour nap. When I woke up, I pondered. I was calm and wiser with my decisions - IT IS ALL GOD! I slept all throughout the night. I woke up and told myself, "I am so prideful." I love him and I couldn't even show it. I know deep inside me that I'd never desire any man but him. He is the man I desire. So I decided to humble myself to him and be honest about what happened to me. We talked through Skype. He knows that I'm emotional. He also knows that it lessened already - GLORY TO GOD! I've read this last night from "Glimpses of an Invisible GOD" - manuscript written by Vicki Kuyper and Stephen Parolini and compiled by Angie Kiesling...
The truth is, everyone's going to die trying. Trying to change ingrained habits or dysfunctional behavior is an ongoing process, even when you're leaning on GOD's strength for help. Don't beat yourself up when you fail. GOD extends grace and forgiveness, not a paddle and a dunce cap.
Quote: Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of GOD is glue.
I admitted to myself that being too emotional and letting it take over me is a dysfunctional behavior I have. The first step to healing is admitting there is a problem. Being too emotional can lead to regretful decisions or painful remarks. I told Cody that I made a huge mistake and asked forgiveness. I admitted to him that I need his help. Also, we prayed before we talked. I led the prayer. He heard things that I desire to happen and things that came from my heart. I asked forgiveness from GOD and from Cody. I assured Cody that next time, I'd tell him when I'm emotional and I'd ask for his help and encourage me. I need him to be my accountability partner. He lovingly agreed. I suggested that next time, we could quickly point out anything that affects/upsets us then I'd call him right away so we could talk about it. It's cheaper for me to call. hehehe! It takes courage and honesty to do this, I know. I desire a beautiful marriage so I am willing to open myself up. We also decided to be very calm about spiritual things. We concluded to share our views, beliefs, opinions and convictions and if they're different, we could somehow compromise. If we couldn't, we could just respect each other, be calm about it and understand our differences. We assured to be on each other's team all the time. I also suggested to read a certain verse or chapter in the Bible daily as our devotions and share views/convictions. We could also share some testimonies about it or experiences. Freedom of speech. hehehe!
Humility, honesty, respect, understanding and love are some of the keys to a beautiful marriage.
You don't have to turn around and give up. You can stand up to the enemy and humble yourself to your partner. Be open and resolve complications. You don't have to undergo divorce. Open a mature conversation and be willing to communicate gently, calmly and lovingly. Don't run away. If you have to run, run to GOD.
Love will bind you together. GOD will seal it.
GOD is LOVE
1 John 4:16
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails...
These verses follow me everywhere. Sometimes, I try to set them aside when there are complications but I always think of them. Always. Thank GOD!
And you thought I was perfect, huh? hahaha! No I'm not. But GOD's grace is sufficient.
I thank and praise GOD for a beautiful relationship and most of all, a beautiful man named Cody Lee Howe! I owe everything to GOD for creating and changing Cody. I cannot thank GOD enough for giving me my beautiful blessing.
FATHER, THANK YOU FOR YOURSELF AND FOR YOUR PRINCE, OUR EVER-LOVING KING!!!
ALL THE GLORY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP BELONGS TO GOD ALONE!!!
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!!!
P.U.S.H.
When you feel GOD's love, OVERFLOW!
Posts
3 comments:
Thanks for the great post. I enjoyed it very much.
That was an extremely helpful post for me, and great to see that you are normal like everyone else!! :)
As women we are more emotional in some ways. I had a good day today and have come home to find your post (after I got it up on my blog list on my page, finally! So I can follow you more closely.)
Thanks again Hon xx
A Joyful Chaos ~> I'm glad you enjoyed it. You're very welcome. I'm always eager to share the lessons I've been learning from GOD.
Faith in Writing ~> Yeah I am normal. Do I seem abnormal? hehehe! jk We are more emotional in many ways. hehehe! I'm very glad it was able to help you. I'd like to be of great help to others. Oh thank you for trusting me and putting this blog on your blog list. That's very sweet and thoughtful of you. I'll always be praying for your lovely days.
My friends, GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY! P.U.S.H.
iLoveYou, my dear sisters in CHRIST!
Post a Comment