...and your faults be pointed out.
This is something I have learned from my parents after my dad's accident.
My dad has been more open and my mom has been more understanding and eager to reach out.
I am not yet married (I will be SOON!) but I have read in a book that whatever you practice outside marriage is what you will be doing inside your marriage. So while Cody and I are not yet married, we are doing things that will beautify our relationship each day. We become more vulnerable but we do not take advantage of the weaknesses. Instead, we fill each one of them with the strengths from each other. Since I have watched my parents' marriage from childhood, I've seen how my mom suffered. I cannot even describe the sufferings she experienced. When I see other couples who fight over the pettiest things (I'm guilty of that hehehe), I look at my mom. Then I think, "How could they (we) not overcome the sufferings when my mom went through a huge hurricane in her life but she still cares about my dad's being?" Then I start feeling blessed for having Cody in my life.
To summarize...my mom was born in a poor family. Very poor family. She worked hard when she was little and until now she still is working hard just to let us finish our studies (I've already finished mine and my other sister hehehe). All three of us. Along the way, she experienced the toughest trials in her life from her husband (also her daughters). I could not say all the details but I hope you start looking at your marriage as a blessing.
When someone asked my mom how she handled all of those and they still see her strong and not ever giving up, she simply said, "I have a GOD." The other woman answered back, "But I have a GOD, too." My mom replied, "Yes you do but I guess it's my grip on GOD that differentiates us." The other woman said, "I want to know your GOD more. I want to go to your church." Okay I'm not saying it's all about the church. hehehe!
Weeks ago, my dad went through a negative temperament that he was not able to control. It was horrible. But this was the start of their beautiful marriage. Why? My dad was able to tell my mom his needs that he couldn't say before. My mom admitted her shortcomings. She just needed a brave man to confront her. Okay now here's the warning: When you confront and point out faults, be gentle and pray first. Seek GOD first. When you share your needs, remember that your spouse is not your enemy. Your spouse is your partner and teammate. Each spouse should always feel that. Do not be selfish of giving yourselves to your spouses. Do not be prideful. Do not close your ears and hearts to the person you married. Do not be offended. One key: never be offended but take it as a challenge to be a better spouse and a better person. You'll see a beautiful change take over your marriage if you both do this. It can be very difficult depending on your personalities and temperaments so be patient. Before anything else, pray together. Always pray together.
I watched a tv show last night about a pastor and his wife which was based on a true story. He knew that she was sick but he still married her. She died. When I watch this kind of shows/movies, I began to see things in a different light. I see how blessed I am that Cody is still alive but I'm rude to him sometimes. hehehe! I see how impatient I could get and let my temperaments get to me and some people struggle coz of death or other heartbreaking reasons which unable them to show their love to their partners.
I shall leave you with something Cody told me that we both strongly believe about divorce...
the only solution is loving and forgiving. well.. and making wise decisions before marrying. that certainly provides stronger chances.
i meant there's no right solution by making divorce legal or illegal. man's laws shouldn't decide moral thoughts like that. i hope that might clear up any confusion.
about open communication...
it's very important we communicate like this and in this manner. of course, we should not make sure not to abuse it.
For divorce: I really hope singles will be more accountable with their actions and wiser with their decisions before marriage. We shouldn't let the legality of divorce dictate our decisions. Like for some, they just get married because they know that divorce is an option. As they say, trial and error. A survey I've read about divorce says, "...partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage." ~The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.~ It is not healthy to jump from one relationship to another to test who is better. To take the chances that maybe someone is better out there when we can do better with the one we are with now. It can be a huge challenge, my friends, BUT it is very rewarding.
For open communication: IF it is very difficult to reach out to your spouse, you should both take the Temperament Test and somehow compromise, understand and love each other more. Always be considerate and patient. Patience has its own rewards.
I am not yet married and I am very much challenged by this open communication thing. Humans have that selfish nature but overcoming that nature makes us more victorious, joyful, lovable and peaceful creations. GOD'S PROMISES ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!
I know I know it's easy to say but it can be tricky to do all of these. So WATCH OUT and TEST YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS BEFORE SAYING AND DOING THEM. Enjoy your marriage and LOVE SOME MORE!!!
To Cody, my "original thinker man", you are so amazing. I really admire how your mind works. All your convictions from original thinking, without the influence of tv, books, movies or other external forces, are outstandingly awesome! You are a strong leader of our relationship and I entrust you our marriage. I trust that your intentions are pure and that you only want what's best for us. You are a strong-willed man and I admire that a lot about you. You don't let other people influence how you would act and think negatively and that just amazes me in ways I could not begin to describe coz of how overwhelming they are. In a great way. Thank you for being faithful to me for more than a year now. Thank you for desiring me alone. Thank you for putting GOD first in your life and being. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH, MY FOREVER CODY!
TO OUR FATHER, YOU ARE THE GREATEST AND THE MOST PERFECT! NO ONE IS ABOVE YOU! YOU ARE GOD ALONE! YOU ARE OUR EVER FIRST LOVE! CODY AND I ARE YOURS! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! WE LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF US!
This is something I have learned from my parents after my dad's accident.
My dad has been more open and my mom has been more understanding and eager to reach out.
I am not yet married (I will be SOON!) but I have read in a book that whatever you practice outside marriage is what you will be doing inside your marriage. So while Cody and I are not yet married, we are doing things that will beautify our relationship each day. We become more vulnerable but we do not take advantage of the weaknesses. Instead, we fill each one of them with the strengths from each other. Since I have watched my parents' marriage from childhood, I've seen how my mom suffered. I cannot even describe the sufferings she experienced. When I see other couples who fight over the pettiest things (I'm guilty of that hehehe), I look at my mom. Then I think, "How could they (we) not overcome the sufferings when my mom went through a huge hurricane in her life but she still cares about my dad's being?" Then I start feeling blessed for having Cody in my life.
To summarize...my mom was born in a poor family. Very poor family. She worked hard when she was little and until now she still is working hard just to let us finish our studies (I've already finished mine and my other sister hehehe). All three of us. Along the way, she experienced the toughest trials in her life from her husband (also her daughters). I could not say all the details but I hope you start looking at your marriage as a blessing.
When someone asked my mom how she handled all of those and they still see her strong and not ever giving up, she simply said, "I have a GOD." The other woman answered back, "But I have a GOD, too." My mom replied, "Yes you do but I guess it's my grip on GOD that differentiates us." The other woman said, "I want to know your GOD more. I want to go to your church." Okay I'm not saying it's all about the church. hehehe!
Weeks ago, my dad went through a negative temperament that he was not able to control. It was horrible. But this was the start of their beautiful marriage. Why? My dad was able to tell my mom his needs that he couldn't say before. My mom admitted her shortcomings. She just needed a brave man to confront her. Okay now here's the warning: When you confront and point out faults, be gentle and pray first. Seek GOD first. When you share your needs, remember that your spouse is not your enemy. Your spouse is your partner and teammate. Each spouse should always feel that. Do not be selfish of giving yourselves to your spouses. Do not be prideful. Do not close your ears and hearts to the person you married. Do not be offended. One key: never be offended but take it as a challenge to be a better spouse and a better person. You'll see a beautiful change take over your marriage if you both do this. It can be very difficult depending on your personalities and temperaments so be patient. Before anything else, pray together. Always pray together.
I watched a tv show last night about a pastor and his wife which was based on a true story. He knew that she was sick but he still married her. She died. When I watch this kind of shows/movies, I began to see things in a different light. I see how blessed I am that Cody is still alive but I'm rude to him sometimes. hehehe! I see how impatient I could get and let my temperaments get to me and some people struggle coz of death or other heartbreaking reasons which unable them to show their love to their partners.
I shall leave you with something Cody told me that we both strongly believe about divorce...
the only solution is loving and forgiving. well.. and making wise decisions before marrying. that certainly provides stronger chances.
i meant there's no right solution by making divorce legal or illegal. man's laws shouldn't decide moral thoughts like that. i hope that might clear up any confusion.
about open communication...
it's very important we communicate like this and in this manner. of course, we should not make sure not to abuse it.
For divorce: I really hope singles will be more accountable with their actions and wiser with their decisions before marriage. We shouldn't let the legality of divorce dictate our decisions. Like for some, they just get married because they know that divorce is an option. As they say, trial and error. A survey I've read about divorce says, "...partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage." ~The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.~ It is not healthy to jump from one relationship to another to test who is better. To take the chances that maybe someone is better out there when we can do better with the one we are with now. It can be a huge challenge, my friends, BUT it is very rewarding.
For open communication: IF it is very difficult to reach out to your spouse, you should both take the Temperament Test and somehow compromise, understand and love each other more. Always be considerate and patient. Patience has its own rewards.
I am not yet married and I am very much challenged by this open communication thing. Humans have that selfish nature but overcoming that nature makes us more victorious, joyful, lovable and peaceful creations. GOD'S PROMISES ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!
I know I know it's easy to say but it can be tricky to do all of these. So WATCH OUT and TEST YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS BEFORE SAYING AND DOING THEM. Enjoy your marriage and LOVE SOME MORE!!!
To Cody, my "original thinker man", you are so amazing. I really admire how your mind works. All your convictions from original thinking, without the influence of tv, books, movies or other external forces, are outstandingly awesome! You are a strong leader of our relationship and I entrust you our marriage. I trust that your intentions are pure and that you only want what's best for us. You are a strong-willed man and I admire that a lot about you. You don't let other people influence how you would act and think negatively and that just amazes me in ways I could not begin to describe coz of how overwhelming they are. In a great way. Thank you for being faithful to me for more than a year now. Thank you for desiring me alone. Thank you for putting GOD first in your life and being. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH, MY FOREVER CODY!
TO OUR FATHER, YOU ARE THE GREATEST AND THE MOST PERFECT! NO ONE IS ABOVE YOU! YOU ARE GOD ALONE! YOU ARE OUR EVER FIRST LOVE! CODY AND I ARE YOURS! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! WE LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF US!
ALL THE GLORY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP BELONGS TO GOD ALONE!!!
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!!!
P.U.S.H.
When you feel GOD's love, OVERFLOW!
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